Something About Her
by Old Russian Lady
Summary: Red recalls the night she gained her closest daughter.


It was dark and stormy, the kind of night Red hated. What made it worse was that it was Monday which meant Inventory Night. Red loved her kitchen- it was obvious to all how much pride she took in that job of hers, but she hated making a list of all of the stuff they ran out of the previous week. But oh well, someone had to do it.

"Norma, would you grab me another pen? This one has run out of ink." Red was grateful that Norma insisted on helping on these long late nights. Norma was her best friend and helped her ease her way into the transition of the Litch when she first got here, for which Red will forever be grateful.

Red and Norma have grown to love each other as sisters. And it isn't just Norma that Red has grown to love; there's a little prison family that she has helped to raise and my, how grateful she is for them!

There is Norma her sister, of course. But her daughters are very special to her as well. There's Lorna Morello, who's lipstick is always wonderful and is always talking about love. She's a very happy girl and often times brightens Red's day. And there is Tricia Miller, who has only been in the Litch for a year but soon became apart of the family. Tricia liked drugs, or at least she did before Red got a hold of her. She came to the prison as she was coming off of some nasty combination and Red helped her through the detoxing. Red had one rule: no drugs, and all of the girls learned it real quick. And then there was Nicky Nichols.

Oh, Nicky, her sweet girl. Red would never admit it out loud to anyone, except for Nicky but only because she loved to see her daughter's face light up when she was reminded, but she was Red's favorite. And although it wasn't flat out said by Red or Nicky, everyone knew it. It was obvious in the way Red treated Nicky versus how she treated the other girls. All of them were treated with love and respect, but maybe the difference was Nicky was treated with unconditional love. It was something about her. Their connection ran so much deeper than "prison family."

The night Nicky came in was one much like this stormy one. She was about to start the withdrawal process from those godforsaken drugs, and that's when Red saw her in the hallway. Yes, Nicky looked rough of course considering her current detoxing state, but there was something more to her. Beyond the obvious, she looked broken inside; she looked sad. And that's when the two made eye contact. The ironic thing, is that Red's first thought of Nicky was that she looked like a little girl who lost her mother for a second in a busy crowd at a mall. Thinking back, Red's eyes water every time.

The way Nicky looked at Red during that first encounter in the hallway was something Red wished she could forget but must admit, she has seen so many times in her girl's eyes. It was the look of desperation for someone to hold her, to love her, to tell her that everything will be alright. Red attempted a small smile and Nicky tried to return it but was instantly brought back to reality, which was only going to get worse as the day turned into night.

And indeed, the night came. A storm had come; lightning flashed and the sky rumbled loud with thunder every few minutes. And it was a Monday. Inventory Night. Red had asked if Norma wanted to turn in for the night however she made it clear that she wanted to stay and help. Finally, nearing 1 am, Red and Norma had finished.

Before bed, they headed to the bathrooms and stopped dead in their tracks at what they came across: someone else was in there. She was hunched over a toilet and appeared to be puking her guts out. Red looked at Norma with a confused look as if to say "What is she doing this late out of her bunk?" Not knowing what to make of the situation, Red went over to the girl and put her hand on her shoulder and asked "Are you okay?" A stupid question she knew but didn't know how else to approach the girl.

The girl looked up at with those lost eyes and Red gasped. This girl just got her today, Red didn't even know her name yet but none of that mattered. Because what happened next is what changed their lives completely. Red's instincts kick in- and not the kind of instincts that would tell you to leave because this mess is something you don't want to be apart of- but her motherly instincts.

"What's your name, kid?" Red asked as she helped her up to her feet to bring her over to the sink.

"Nichols. Nicky Nichols."

"You'll be my Nicky." she said so gently. Red couldn't help it. There was something about her. Something about this girl that called on Red's deepest maternal feelings. Red only had 3 sons, never a daughter. She didn't even want one after she had such a life with her sons and husband. But instantly that feeling changed.

Nicky fell to her knees before Red could catch her and consequently crawled back over to the toilet. Red went over to her this time with a different approach that she wasn't controlling. Red knelt down next to her new daughter and rubbed small circles on her back, whispering soothing words and reassuring her that everything will be alright. Nicky started to weep.

Red had to take a minute, she almost forgot where she was or that Norma was still there. She looked over her shoulder to find Norma standing in the corner looking confused, and Red knew why. Red was always a very stoic person who many people got that "fuck off" vibe from, and that's the way Red wanted it. She didn't let too many people get close, especially people she didn't even know. Even with Norma it took weeks for Red to warm up to. It's understandable that Norma was in such a shock state due to Red's actions. Red was brought back to the situation at hand when she heard an intense cry out. Nicky was feeling the worst of her detoxing. Red's heart ached for her girl because she knew there was nothing she could do.

After the puking stopped, Red thought it was safe to try to get Nicky back up to the sink so Red could wash her face.

"Norma's going to get you some mouthwash. A clean mouth makes you feel better. There." She was able to get her daughter up to the sink without any puking or falling down. Nicky was crying hard now. With each sob, Red's heart broke. It was something about her that made her feel so close and protective of this girl in her arms.

Red started to wash Nicky's face. "You gotta hit rock bottom before you l know which direction to go in. Welcome to the floor, kid." Red couldn't tell what her eyes were saying now. All she could tell was that they were watery pools in front of blood red eyes. "It'll be better from now on." Red said soothingly, knowing that those are the words that Nicky wanted, no, needed, to hear. Perhaps Nicky was given this empty promise in her past, but as long as Red's heart was beating, this was more than a promise, it was an irrefutable fact that Red would go to great, great lengths to prove true to her beloved girl.

Nicky's heavy sobbing started to become choked sobs, and that's when Red knew her darling girl was beginning to calm down. She supposed that these caring and comforting motherly instincts couldn't have been the only ones, she knew there was another side to being a mother and that was protection. At this thought, Red immediately brushed back the sides of Nicky's hair and cupped her face for the first of countless times and whispered, "And what I'll do to you if you use again will hurt a lot more than this. Remember what I'm saying." When Nicky leaned forward, Red thought she was going to fall onto the floor again. Gratefully, she was wrong. Nicky did fall but not onto the floor, it was in her mother's arms. A very tight embrace, again the first of countless between this mother and daughter.

Nicky choked out, "I'm so scared."

Red wanted to say "You don't need to be. I'm here, I always will be." But decided it was best for her daughter to relax in her arms and let these words be proven through her actions as the mother and daughter grew ever so close.


End file.
